At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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