I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
