I am spending my child support on dildos
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
