One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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