he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
