Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
