i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Rumble strips road head = magical
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
