Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
