Soap is not a condiment
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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