Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
