At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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