Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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