this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
