I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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