thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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