I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
