if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
