i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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