you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
