So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm like, not good at living.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
