I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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