This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
