how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
