you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
