Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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