why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
