Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
