Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
