they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
