I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
