im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
