I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
