I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
