Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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