high people should be assigned attendants
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
