I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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