I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
