But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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