what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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