Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
