so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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