he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
