just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
