I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
