he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Randomize
