why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
