Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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