I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
