Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
