i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
