Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
