It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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