it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
