i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
