OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You can't special order awesome
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
